#Feed my addiction meaning full#

How often have I asked for GodвЂ™s help while continuing the same sick behaviors and disregarding my conscience? Conclusion Life driven by lust brings with it confusion, chaos, misery and disaster. IвЂ™ve been hospitalized for depression or attempted suicide because sexaholism is destroying my physical, emotional and spiritual being. IвЂ™ve wrecked my career, home and life.ДЎ2. IвЂ™ve avoided relationships and jobs because I was afraid.ДЎ1. I have lost friends or have been unable to make friends.ДЎ0. I canвЂ™t complete tasks or meet responsibilities because they conflict with my need to feed my addiction.Д©. IвЂ™m living in constant fear that my actions will be discovered, while at the same time getting high from the rush of acting out.ДЁ. IвЂ™ve lost a marriage or limped along in the one IвЂ™m in.Д§. I canвЂ™t have healthy intimacy with my wife because of the fantasies playing in my mind.Д¦. I remain distant from those around me because IвЂ™m constantly thinking about my next вЂњfixвЂќ or why IвЂ™m such a victim.ДҐ. IвЂ™ve lost a job or hate my job (or the people in my job) because of my behavior.Д¤. I lash out in anger at loved ones (and even total strangers) without control or remorse.ДЈ. IвЂ™m late for meetings or other commitments or donвЂ™t show up at all because IвЂ™m вЂњtoo busy.вЂќДў. Unfortunately, most of these statements have been or can be true for me if IвЂ™m not aware and practicing recovery one moment at a time 12 Signs My Life Is UnmanageableДЎ. To help me see things even more clearly, page 11 of the new Step Into Action book states some of the things that show how unmanageable my life is. I could be living in recovery this morning, but then let some negative emotions brew, in combination with not getting enough rest, and then BAM, I slip back into addictive behaviors: IвЂ™m mad at my kids, IвЂ™m angry at the appliance guy who I donвЂ™t even know, and IвЂ™m searching the scores on ESPN for the 3rd or 4th time just to make sure I read them correctly 10 minutes agoвЂ¦ RECOVERY.ДЇor me, recovery is a day to day, even moment to moment practice.

I may be sober for 3 months, 6 months, a year, even longer, but if IвЂ™m still angry, defensive, procrastinating, blaming, shaming, etc. Many of the comments made in that discussion are spot on вЂ“ sobriety isnвЂ™t the end goal. This statement has been part of a great discussion on whether or not recovery can come without sobriety. Just because IвЂ™m sober doesnвЂ™t mean IвЂ™m well. I look forward to hearing about your experiences and how youвЂ™ve come to recognize that your life is unmanageable вЂ“ that you need a Higher Power to help you. Our discussion today is going to be about the unmanageability of life.

14-15)Д«ut what if my life hasnвЂ™t become that unmanageable? Do these concepts still apply?

#Feed my addiction meaning full#

The full weight of the devastation of my disease was overwhelming.вЂќ (pp. I compiled a list of over thirty incidents in which sexaholism had made my life unmanageable. That seems a little unmanageable.вЂ™ I reluctantly had to agree, but I went on to say, вЂWell, other than that I donвЂ™t see any unmanageability.вЂ™ She replied, вЂWell, you are not working for these five weeks, you are eight hundred miles away from your wifeвЂ¦вЂ™ Her listing the facts helped break through my denial. In her very quiet and calm voice she pointed out the obvious: вЂFor one, you are sitting here in a psychiatric facility for a thirty-five day treatment that is going to cost you about $20,000. I told my counselor that I understood the powerlessness part of Step One, but that I just did not see my unmanageability. вЂњThree months later, I sat in a treatment center for sexual addiction. вЂњAt my first SA meeting I immediately related to people sharing about personal powerlessness over lust and sexual acting outвЂ¦However, I did not understand their explanation about how their lives had become unmanageableвЂ¦

This story from Step Into Action may help: These are questions that have come to my mind from time to time. What if IвЂ™m sober вЂ“ does that powerlessness still exist and is my life still unmanageable, or do I have things under control, figured out? How do I know if my life has become, or is, unmanageable? Step 1 states: вЂњ We admitted we were powerless over lust вЂ“ that our lives had become unmanageable.вЂњ